Weeding and watering

[mustardseed]

Thank you, V. Your post was exactly what I needed. I keep remembering how I didn't quit last year when I really felt--irrationally as my thought process was--that the stress and panic was going to kill me. I was someone I didn't recognize and I was more scared than I have ever been in my life. And I did stick it out. I saw it to the end. If I survived that, I can easily overcome this.

The after school job is no where near as panic inducing as last year's situation. I feel a bit helpless and unsure--but I must be doing something right because the parents keep asking me if I can take on more days. I was hesitant, but today I am meeting with someone who can guide me in doing this work and help me perfect my approach. I think if I felt confident I would really enjoy this job. Then I did a bunch of math and I realized that doing this job 5 days a week instead of just 3 will provide me with exactly the amount of money I need to not have to rely on my parents' generosity quite so much.

I was praying for solutions to the money issue and I realized this is my answer. At first I was ignoring it waiting for a different miracle to answer my prayers, but now I see this was the answer.

It's like that story about the guy whose house is flooding and he ignores the boat and the plane because he insists that God will save him. Then when he is about to be overtaken he cries out, "God, where were you? I thought you would save me." And God replies, "Hey, I sent you a boat and a plane." I think this is my boat and I need to take it.

I also had a frustrating but interesting recent turn of events in court. The winds are changing. The waiting is paying off. I am so happy I have an ethical and knowledgeable lawyer. Even though I was resentful that I just had to sit back and let WH get away with his abusive tactics, now the tides are turning and things will be coming to a head for him.

Are those some spring buds I am finally seeing?