V is for Vanilla 28

[Joe46]

Hey V!! Checking in with you!! Hope all is well. I am with you on fixing the problems left after EX! But I am getting things ironed out! There is light at the end of the tunnel! You will get there too!

Wow trying to friend you on FB!! REALLY!! Good for you on not falling for that one!

You will be happy to know that I saw my grandson this past weekend!! It was really cool!! I know I am a guy, but I enjoy babies!!

Take care, I will check back with you soon.

[Vanilla]

Zephyr

Let me explain a little.

My philosophy on this.

Care of self, being self centred is the most important thing you can do ever for you and all around you. It is like please put your life Jacket on first, please put your mask on first when the aircraft is going down.

You come first and your welbeing or you are of little long term use to yourself or any other.

Truly that is the least selfish thing you can do.

Next I said embryonic, you are wise and get wiser by posting. In particular to those to whom you can contribute even though it's hard for you.

I am minded of a story, a wise man was walking down a beach when a tidal wave washed up thousands of starfish to the beach. The wise man gently threw the starfish back into the ocean. A passing fisherman walked by and sadly said " it's hopeless all these starfish will die, it makes no difference". The wise man took a starfish ano sent it to the ocean saying " I made a difference to that starfish"

That's how I feel about DB I was that starfish and posters here made a difference to me. I hope that sometimes I can pay that forwards. And so it is Zephyr, you have that spirit too.

I think there is a barrier to be traversed in realising that being part of a tribe with mutual support is one dimension. True spirit is offering to others the best you have knowing they may move on or deny you.

I was once a lurker here, reading and not posting. Understand the ripples run and run for the thoughts you have and the posts you make. You have a way with expression and thought which transcends and belies your age, it is about giving of yourself and your knowledge and insight.

There are hurt and bemused folk who wish to learn, there are those who post on whimsy and never return, truly powerful posts have an impact on the poster and those who connect. By giving and reaching out you develop the self and learn along the way.

Zephyr that is being self centred and your higher power will approve.

V

[Vanilla]

Hey V!! Checking in with you!! Hope all is well. I am with you on fixing the problems left after EX! But I am getting things ironed out! There is light at the end of the tunnel! You will get there too!

Wow trying to friend you on FB!! REALLY!! Good for you on not falling for that one!

You will be happy to know that I saw my grandson this past weekend!! It was really cool!! I know I am a guy, but I enjoy babies!!

Take care, I will check back with you soon.

Dearest Joe, I just wish I had a picture of the baby giggling and needing his grandad. I am so very very thrilled for you.

How remarkable and stable an influence you are. I would love to be an honary aunt with crazy lineage.

Truly Joe it is wonderful. Thank you for telling me.

I have just shed some tears of great joy.

Hugs

V

[Zephyr]

Thank you for your response 'not so plain' Vanilla.

I always appreciate your insight beyond words.

[Vanilla]

I blocked Maggotroni

V

[Joe46]

Dearest Joe, I just wish I had a picture of the baby giggling and needing his grandad. I am so very very thrilled for you.

V I was thinking the same thing!! I know it is important to be anonymous here, but many times I would have loved a picture to see who I am talking to and to be able to share things with my kids and now grandson!!

Glad you blocked the maggot man!!! LOL!! I blocked EXWW as soon as she talked about moving out. And blocked her new page with her new name!!! LOL!!

[Vanilla]

Maggotroni is WH OW. Although yes I know that WH is behind this all.

Joe are you on FB or is that linked in or another?

V

[Vanilla]

Posting to darling Mu I observe he has had no anger yet. A then a thought hit me.

I have not yet been angry, nor has the lovely Jellyb.

I observe that those posters here who get good and white angry shift.

I have had some red uncontrolled anger, my screaming banshee phase although it wasn't healthy.

Today I want to get good and angry and find I can't. I realise I rarely get angry at anything in life. It's unfortunate really anger is good. Anger is valid and a requirement to for moving on.

We need anger, we truly need anger. Not for revenge but for motivation, constructive anger.

I have blocked anger and blocked it tight. My fear overrides my anger.

Realisation.

V

[Vanilla]

Let me be very clear about the things to which I refer.

I am not talking about anger as feeling, in the Inside Out way of knowing. I can recognise anger this way and I understand when I am feeling the emotion. I know where it comes from. This is no educational issue in so muxh as yes V that is anger.

This isn’t about how I feel, but about my respond. I just have no anger response at all to harms to myself. A very brief all over the place screaming banshee is unmotivated.


And again, we’re not talking about responding to WH and his rants or blame ingredients of me. It goes much deeper than that.

I discovered a post on the Internet that said exactly what I am having difficulties with.

In responding to actions that do real harm. Or responding to words that empower and enable and provoke actions that do real harm. Such words and actions should make us angry. And that anger should cause us to act in response to those harmful actions, or to speak up against those hurtful words.

That doesn’t mean we must act or speak angrily, or that we must act or speak in anger. “In your anger, sin not.” But if we fail to act or to speak, then we are failing to love. That failure may be due to apathy, or to fear, or to a host of other reasons, but sometimes it is due to our corresponding failure to get angry.

You got kids? If not, how about a kid sister or a kid brother? No? Then how about a dog, you got a dog? Or a cat? A spouse? Everybody loves someone or something. I’m going to go with kids here, but if you don’t have kids, just think of your little sister or your cat or whoever it is you love.

Say you see somebody hurting your kids — deliberately, cruelly inflicting harm on them. That will make you angry. Such anger is right and proper and just. You will be angry because you love your kids, and that anger and that love will compel you to act on their behalf — to stop this cruel somebody from harming them.
Now, if you saw this happening and you did not get angry or try to put a stop to this cruelty, what do you suppose the rest of us would think? We wouldn’t be congratulating you on your saintly calm demeanor. Nor would we be admiring you as an exemplar of Christian civility.

No, we would be angry with you over your lack of anger. Then, after we acted in your stead to stop the harm being done to your kids, that anger would compel us to confront you with your evident lack of love for your own children.

None of this changes when the victims of this cruel, deliberate harm are someone other than your blood relations.



I get angry on behalf of others although not on behalf of myself.

V

[Vanilla]

There are many avenues about anger and managing it and fewer about unblocking it and almost none on lack of response to injustice.

This is no depression or suppression.

Neither is there too much control. I am no time bomb waiting to explode.

If you open this grenade, there is no explosive in it at all.

SToring the grenade in a safety locker or defusing it isn't the issue.

This grenade has no way of exploding. Is this a long fuse or is it without explosive material?

I ponder this.

I need Zues and his advice.

If you are there Zues?

V