No End in Sight

[TimR]

Yeah I am sure she is giving them to me for some kind of convenience for her. However, since it gives me the day with the boys I am not going to complain, it might be for her convenience but it benefits me too.

So anyway today again I am not feeling as bad as before. I just have a void and numbness. Like instead of a sharp pain, its a dull throbbing ache. I keep having the thought that I will end up alone for my entire life, but rather than being depressed by the thought I am resigned to it. Yeah, everyone can say no you won't but there are no guarantees. After all, people end up alone, really live their lives alone all the time. So why not me? Again, I am have a feeling of acquiescence to it. After being through this, battling my way through cheat after cheat, I am rather certain the few opportunities I will have I will either not recognize or have the strength to trust. That is ok. Our experiences shape the person we are to become. I will strive to continue my changes so that I may enrich the lives of those around me and that will have to be enough for me.