New Thread for Help

[CWOL]

So go for greater than 50/50 custody?

What does support drop to if you get primary custody?

Since it appears you hope to reconcile...every dollar you spend fighting her is less dollars you have to split with her.

Plus the shame of having to defend against your betrayed husband saying they are the more fit,caring, capable and better parent.

Even just the threat of losing primary custody (and getting less money and having to get a full time job versus a part time job) might help wake her up.

Waywards are horrible parents. You might even win the claim. You are still in the house your son grew up in versus some apartment and you are more capable of providing consistently for his needs than your wife.

Don't discuss this with your wife other than to say it's up to your attorney and you don't want to talk about the divorce that you still don't want. If she wants your attorney to back off..then dismiss her divorce claim and talk about marital reconciliation. Otherwise...it's out of your hands.

I live in a Liberal state. I am male. Trying to get >50% custody is NOT going to fly, believe me. I work a lot more hours than she does, which makes it harder to get my S11 to all his activities on time. I've asked for Primary but chances are it'll be 50/50.

It's a No-Fault state. There is no "shame" in the court. It $ucks, for sure, to be a betrayed spouse in this state.

50/50 Child support is less than a third of the spousal maintenance (alimony) payment. It $ucks. My L said Maintenance will go down 10-15% once the D is finalized. The judge _can_ force her to get more hours or a full time job but it'll only decrease my alimony by 50 cents for every $1 she earns. Given the large disparity between her wage and mine, I'm going to get screwed. It's terrible, basically encourages her to not work and leech off me even if we were divorced. No wonder more women than men file for D at this age!

I don't discuss this stuff with WW but she has been asking me about settling. The best I can see is settle the issues first to reduce the acrimony. Dragging it out will just p*ss everyone off and burn money for nothing.