Need help. Threading water, learning to swim.

[TimR]

G8r it is the little triumphs that lead to the large victories. I tell my wrestlers learn to score the little points and you will win, don't worry about the big point moves cause they are too risky. Consider your baby steps a progression forward. If you want a real win consider you bit your tongue with WW this time could you do the same thing in the future, could you do the same thing with another person?

As I think I am beginning to accept the end of my marriage, I am realizing this work is to make me a better person. Yes, I have acknowledged that from the beginning, but am now finally realizing what that means. It means I am not just going to do these things/techniques with my wife, I am not just going to practice these things on other people so when the time came I could use them on my wife, but this is who I am becoming. I complained on a thread earlier that I lack empathy for others. That is an issue of mine, well today I caught myself actually listening to my paralegal's personal/home problem, even better I realized I was validating her feelings. I don't know if it mattered to her but I was doing it all on autopilot, not thinking wow here is an opportunity to do xyz, but just doing it.

Disturbingly, I also find myself less angry and less sad. I am just vacant and hollow, that is better than emotional all the time. I think that is progression! I think that is the rope slipping through my hands. Even if just a bit.

So take the little things you are learning and don't just apply them, make them a part of you.