Listen to sandi. She knows her stuff. You will nit get a better advisor.

You have admitted your part in the downfall. Why did you not change?Are you motivated enough now to change, to take the necessary ACTIONS?IIf so listen and read all the advice you get here.

You cannot talk your way back. You need to prove you can change.PPlease outline what you see/she says are your issues that should change.TThat is where to start. You need to become a man only a fool would leave. That takes action and time.

I would caution that addressing her issues with you may nit be enough or may take a long time to affect her. This is why you need to concentrate on becoming a better man, for you.

You may have contributed to the downfall of your M, but the A was her choice. That is not your fault.

Best of luck


R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together