No End in Sight

[1313]

Tim,
first of all it sounds like your Priest is a keeper. He's keeping Church doctrine in mine, but the human first. Divorce is certainly frowned upon, but marriage isn't worth torturing 2 souls over, is it?

I think we're both coming to the realization that there had to be at least a "seed" of this other person inside of our W's all this time. Perhaps they've been putting up a facade longer than we realize? While I realize a lot of that hurtful talk is just to hurt, it makes me wonder just how she remembers so much. I kind of have to think that just maybe I really have been living with 2 people for a long, long time.

Yes, get your running partner. I'm not sure why being female is any concern at all - I mean technically it's a 50/50 chance, right? It might be good to have somebody to bounce ideas and thoughts off of if you (and she) get comfortable enough to do that.

But it's pretty weird we're worried about cheating, or being perceived as cheating, isn't it? I think that's why the one year rule I saw when I got here makes sense in a lot of ways. We've got a lot of baggage to drop still.

For you - I think the more you can detach - GAL and drop that gal dang rope, the sooner your WW will come to grips with whatever is eating at her. Guaranteed, she will change - does it matter into what? Personally, I would think any change at all is going to be positive. She might just dangle the boys out there to see what you're up to once she realizes you're no longer in the picture.

And I feel the same way - the last year or so of life was spent in abject terror. I was afraid to say or do something wrong, and was constantly second guessing myself. Along with the gaslighting, I didn't know which way was up. That's just not healthy. The WW is the one saying that she was the one in this sitch - but now I know that's only partly true. A huge burden has been lifted at the same time, hasn't it?