Still keeping it real...

[bttrfly]

Like Sotto said perfectly: yes, always sad when something else gets added to the ever-growing pile of things to forgive.

I can't imagine what it feels like to have H wearing rings and greeting at another church ... I too, am Catholic, and wow - that's just ... smh ... they really do become different people, don't they?

Gwen - your girls are doing so well. That's a testimony to what a great job you are doing keeping it all together for them. Believe me, I know the toll that takes ... I too, cry in the shower. Sadly, my son has heard me do so. Not sure what he makes of it. He's asked me what's wrong. I don't really answer, because I don't really have an answer. I just refuse to let this destroy me. And you know that even though the girls are growing up, they'll need you more now than before, just in a different way.

I'm so happy for your trip and ecstatic that you quit. It's all about being in alignment with yourself, isn't it? The right job will come along, and it will not require you to compromise your ethics. So proud of you for having faith and making that jump rather than staying stuck.

I very much identify with you about the indifference having a profound affect on you. I feel the same way. That's how the most damage has been done in my case. It's amazing to meet other people (men) who don't feel indifferent. Such a surprise to me. I find myself looking at old photos and looking for the shark eyes. Trying to find a date that this happened. Did he love me then, or was he just faking it. It's so hurtful and its own cheeseless tunnel.

I don't know about you my dear, but I'm ready to cauterize the wound. How much bleeding can one take?

Anyway, one foot forward at a time. You are wonderful, in case you don't know it, and a shining light. He's - well, on his own journey I guess is the most spiritual answer I can give. Don't let his indifference hurt you any more if you can help it, my dear. You are worth so much more xoxoxoxo