How did you go the route of no direct action on your part, without trying to "nice". I afraid my version would lead her to try to use me as a doormat, but I guess that's where the boundaries are so important. Of course then, you have to make sure the boundaries are to manipulate, punish, or vindictive. Is it via NC, good boundaries and dropping the rope?
What types of boundaries did you put in place with your WW?
How did you deal with the threats around kids?
Can you elaborate on what no direct action on your part means to you?
What happened was I tried to be the perfect husband and took her on dates, etc. and did everything that she complained that I didn't do before, e.g. folding the laundry promptly, opening doors for her, etc. Then she said I was "being fake" and I should stop doing it. During this time, she was secretly plotting the D and she had a retainer agreement that I found.
I found that any action I take toward M or R was being met with scorn and distrust. For example, I proposed mediation instead of going to court. She at first thought it was a good idea, then thought I was "fooling her." Also, when I found the retainer agreement, we agreed to split up the credit cards to hers and mine. Then afterwards she accused me of "controlling and manipulating" her. It's a no win situation. So now I avoid any type of action that she can claim that.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
