IYeah I hear you hope. I feel the same thing. I can't work on R alone without any investment from WW. I do not see any investment from WW, so the best I can do is to take another step forward.
I also have this thought running through my mind today. They say the anger and resentment took years to build until it got to where we are and of course it does not go away overnight. My question is what builds in us during the time we are DBing. Some of us continue to get more angry, some depressed, some, anxiety, and so on. I get that GALing and other methods are truly concerning with alleviating this but really what builds inside of us during this time? I do not think it is our love for our WAS or WS.
Tim, I agree with you on can't do it alone without investment in some way on their end but then again, isn't that what this is all about...to make ourselves better for our future, with or without our WAS? With the little hope that detaching will make them want to invest?
Also, I am not even sure what 's building up inside of me. I know there' anger, there's some weird version of resentment. There's love also building - which I can't even explain. I have ups and down, anxiety attacks, very sad and lonely nights and weekends, massive confusion, body aches and other physical ailments. But thank God for GALing b/c that really helps me to remember and realize that I am my own person, and have the power to make myself happy - whatever that looks like at any given time.
Originally Posted By: GWH
Hope, i don't know how true this is, but maybe they wake up then engage contact to have those conversations?
That's an interesting perspective. He seems more open to talking about how he truly feels and why he feels that way. I find that when I validate, he feels more inclined to share. I used to shut him down in cold blood with my defensiveness and attacking his feelings, saying they were wrong. I don't do that anymore. But again, no expectations, right?
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
