Back on these forums again 7

[Mona52]

Lol, my child of a h made a mistake yesterday. I cannot tell if he did it on purpose or not, but it does not matter either way.

We had that spat where I hurt his poor feelings because I said I did not trust him. He said we cant be friends until I am ready to trust him. I told him I will not trust him and if he wanted my friendship he would have to take me as-is and not expect me to trust him. And if he could not do that then I did not need him as a friend.

His answering reply was cryptic.

"I accept that"

I had no idea what that meant, but I did not really care. The fact is he needs me and I dont need him. The fact is he behaved VERY badly for 20 years and I have not. The fact is, I do not OWE him anything, he, however owes me so much more than I will ever receive. The fact is, I deserve friends who are happy with me exactly who I am and do not want me to change a single thing.

I guess his reply meant that he accepts the fact I do not trust him, because while I was cooking dinner I got a text:

H: Have you watched sons of anarchy series?
H: If not, you really have to watch it. It's freaking awesome. Not a show for the kids lol
H: Its on Netflix. Trust me, you will love it.
H: Another one I started watching on xfinity is Viking. D@mn good show.

I have no idea where this outpouring of words came from, but this is what I got yesterday.

The last few days he has been texting more and more about nothing.

AND THEN...

About an hour after those text messages:

H: I'm home baby. All yours :*

yep. The idiot texted me when he meant to text his girlfriend...

I sent him a text back letting him know he texted me by accident.

H: Ugh sry
H: I'm so sry


I wont lie, it was very very painful. I got the text when i was in the car. I had to drive an hour and a half away so I had time to face the fact, feel the pain, and get over it before the end of the car ride. It did not send me into a tail spin. It did not make me cry.

This morning I thought about it again, but it was not my first waking thought. I had two hours of good thoughts on other things before I even remembered his mistake.

My traitor mind keeps going back to that text, but I am easily able to refocus on other things.

Chris bought me a small pair of earrings last night. I am not a girly girl that care about jewelry. If he never bought me so much as a ring I would not care. But, he went out and picked a pair of earrings that perfectly matches the necklace he got me, so it was very very sweet. The earrings came with a card saying how amazing I am.

So, I can easily push any action from jerkface right out of my head.