Baby steps

[V2pt0]

Painter, just got caught up on your situation. I am sorry to hear how things have progressed, but that being said, you are a strong and amazing woman and I know you will get through this.

I'm not doing very well with DB'ing. I suppose I should make more of an effort, although it feels moot and I am really down and sad right now.

I don't think DBing is a moot point. I hope this does not sound too harsh, but I have actually felt that you have often been more focused on saving your M, rather than saving Painter. I think that your H probably senses this as he never really seemed to be fully committed to piecing. It is actually more important than ever to keep DBing, but now is the opportunity to focus completely to you.

For the most part I'm nice and we cooperate well about household issues. I made H laugh a lot today and yesterday, but towards the evening it gets harder to keep the facade up.

This seems like good DBing. Given the situation it is hard to be perfect.

Something about the dark has always triggered anxiety for me. I guess with the night, there's no hope that anything will change for the better today.

I have similar anxiety with flying back home from trips for some reason. I think it is the idea and fear of not coming home to someone or having something horrible happen and I am all alone. My H and his family is all of the family I have here where I live, so I have to stop and remind myself of my friends. This is the one thing I still struggle with, but it is slowly getting better.

I wish for us all here that we wouldn't have to go through any of this. Not a single one of us have deserved this.

agreed! Sending a big hug and positive thoughts your way.

I did a name change, so you might now know who this is straight away.