NYGal: What now?

[1313]

I wish I wouldn't have rushed back into R with W the first time she left me. We kind of resumes right where we left off and didn't really get to the root of the issue. But I just wanted the pain to end and it was sooooo good to hold her in my arms again.

This has been a lot of my reflection lately. At first, none of us want to hear this. We want to be back with our spouse, hold them, love them - and be where we were when we remember the good times. Honestly, I remember far more good than bad.

Except - so much time passed for things to dissolve in the first place. We tend to forget. You've got to figure it's GOT to be even longer to build a proper foundation this time around. The first one had flaws. That's why we're all here.

We can restore our relationship alright - right on top of the third floor of a teetering, rocking staircase that's been torched long ago. That can't happen. I don't want to see that for NYGal.

Maybe I had an epiphany today, but as much as I want my W back, I'm not sure it can ever happen. Even if she did everything that was necessary, I've got me to work on first. And I realized - I'm a friggin mess. Until I put myself back together brick by broken brick, I'm not ever going to know what's necessary on her end.

NYGal has a huge glimmer of hope. But in order for it to be something stable this time around - it's going to take a lot of planning and work. Start on your blueprint now.