That is VERY good that you did maintain a level of calm in front of him! Pat yourself on the back for that! That's not easy to do. But the more you practice it, the better you will feel; I promise. As for what you do behind closed doors, you are human and you need to process it all to get through it.
Don't forget to exert yourself physically, too. Go for walks, do yoga, etc. It's so good for your body and your mind.
You are the adult and he is irrational.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
