Who am I and what do I want?

[CWOL]

A secondary and growing concern I continue to have is just how different my W and I are. We enjoy such different things, and my W has never had any interest in trying activities that we could both enjoy. We are just so different in some fundamental ways, philosophically. When I imagine a future with her, even if we can heal from the affairs, I imagine it always being somewhat sad and unfulfilling for me. It was always like this, even before she became wayward. The magnitude of what would have to change for me to feel really happy and fulfilled just seems so unrealistic. I am awkwardly inching toward admitting that all along, I was minimizing my needs and staying in denial about how unfulfilled I was. Don't get me wrong though, my W is such a lovely person. We are just so different. I think I may just be an idiot when it comes to wisely assessing whether someone is right for me.

I think all the LBH's on this forum have the same issues as you. However, regarding fundamental differences between you and your W: What was it initially that drew you two together when you first met? Why did you decide to get married? Thinking back to that time may help you set your focus on whether the current differences are superficial or central to your marriage.