It has been forever since I have posted, so I thought I would update on my situation. I just hit my one your anniversary since BD a week many a half ago. I cannot believe it has been a year since this who,e thing started. I have avoided posting the past few months as I am in the settlement agreement stage and thought it was best to not be post as I might be tempted to say too much. We should be signing this week, which means by mid-April I should be divorced. I am actually feeling very good about the entire thing and have accepted that this is what is going to happen. Yes, I still have moments where I reflect and it a little sad, I am very much in the acceptance stage.
The settlement process has been fairly straight forward except for some hurtful behavior by H. About a half a dozen times he, through his L, has tried to accuse me of hiding money or insinuating I have been dishonest. I have no idea where this is coming from as I have never spent a large amount of money without letting him know. I feel like he isa really hoping to catch me doing something wrong. Maybe to help make him feel better if he finds me being dishonest. I really do not know, but of course I have been able to come back right a way and disprove these accusations. Regardless, everything seems financially everything is falling into place like I hope. Of course, divorce is still a very costly endeavor, but given the situation, I am very happy how it is panning out. I still detect a lot of anger from my H. Nothing I can do abut that.
As for as the rest of my life I am doing great. I just got back last week from a vacation in Hawaii with my family. It was amazing!! H knew I was going out of town and waited until I had left to ask to stop by house to pick things up. He took some joint items without letting me know, but I just let it go and did not say anything. They are not really things I wanted, but just seems Not very upfront of him. I had called him on this behavior in the past. I also decided he needed to stop by the day I got back from my vacation. I almost feel like he did it on purpose, but of course I do not know that. I just ignore his text that said he needed to stop by and pick more things up from house. Keep in mind I have not seem H since last October. I said hello, but probably came off as cold as I went upstairs and stayed there until he left. I was feeling so relaxed and rest after vacation that I did not want him to give him an opportunity to ruin my mood. Not sure if that was good DB, but it was good for me. To be honest, I felt really indifferent about seeing him and felt very little. I can say that even though I was wearing casual clothes, I looked great. About 15 lbs less since the last time he saw me, hair longer and blonder, and tan. I know I looked good!!
Other than that, I am busy with work and other GAL. Have kept up with my fitness plan and am feeling better than I have in over a decade. Have plans to get out with friends a couple of nights this week. I have also been receiving some attention at the gym for some of the guys, but have not acted on it yet as I am not ready for that yet. All is going very week for me right now even with the occasional sad day when I still mourn the end of my M. The truth is life does go on and I will not let the end of my a define me. I will let it continue to help mold me into a better person.
