My IC keeps saying this to me and I think it fits you and what you are feeling and processing. "Any healthy organism will move away from pain." I believe what he is trying to tell me is that, I cannot hold on forever and as I recover, I will find myself letting the rope slide through my hands
I think that's exactly what happens Tim, b/c that's what I think is happening to me. It's not so much a swift drop as it is just loosening more and more. I mean it may be a swift drop, I go back and forth.
I've been hearing alot about "self-preservation mode" this weekend and I think that's what I'm going into right now also, Spark. We can't fight for the R by ourselves but we can try to do what we can until we honestly cant do anymore. Sometimes I feel like I can't do anymore, and then I can. It is a rollercoaster and I must keep reminding you that you're still so early in the process. It's been what, a month? I'm asking you as a friend to please just find it deep within yourself to be patient. Please use this time to reflect on how you can be better for yourself and your next R (with or without H). You are growing everyday Spark, I see it. I wouldn't give up just yet. You guys deserve the good ol' college try.
<3
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
