Getting out of in house S (8)

[vise82]

Hey,

So W mentions to me after she came back yesterday from grociery shopping that for easter she will be taking the kids to her cousins house. Usually they do two of them one at her parents house and one dinner at her cousins house. This year they are doing one dinner.

I was not invited.

It seems I am getting pushed out of her side of the family stuff now. At first it was me saying that I didn't want to go, as part of DBing and now it is expected that I am not going and I am not even invited to family things.

Just a word of caution then to new people. In creating a loss for W by excluding myself from the family events I have created a seemingly permanent rift there.

Part of me doing that was to create a loss and to detach. M feared it I kept going to these family things that she one day would show up with a new guy.

So my next move is to create a Easter with my kids by myself. W still lives at home so I imagine she will be there.

I just wish I could have been a fly on the wall when they all talked about not inviting me. Who said what who agreed, was it my W idea, did anyone want me there?

No one from her side of the family has contacted me since the split up. Her dad reach out in the beginning, but he has since back off. I get the feeling they think I am not good enough for them, they are all well off upper middle class and I came from.. well 10 kids and neither of my parents worked. Yes we were poor.

I just don't get it, I am a great guy and have great qualities. I don't think anyone can love my W as much a I do. To be just rejected by a whole family? I mean sure that is where I came from but its not who I am. I am my own person. My W I think is chasing a dream of abundance. Of a struggle free life full of money and opportunity. Of vacations and large houses and shopping and of chairs with pillows that match the walls.

I think when I met my w she was rebelling against her family. Dating me, I had very little money, against the advise of her parents. She told me many times now that she had to always defend me to her family as they pushed for her to be sure that she wanted to marry me. She choose me. I thought she was choosing love. But she was choosing me as I was moving up in the world with my schooling my house that I owned and the cars I was racing. Then I landed a good job and have stayed there since. W was not happy about it and thought I should move on to make more money. I valued more in life then more money. I valued the family time. I am in a job that I feel fits for me, that I was meant to do.

I guess what I am asking... is love enough to get through this? To get through having two houses? To get through a separation? She left me questioning my love for her. But after all this I am still here. With her, through all of this. Moving forward but still here.

Time will tell.