Heather - so good to hear from you even though I wish your post was only full of rainbows and unicorns. In other words, I am sorry you are having to work through these emotions and issues with your oldest daughter. As a casual observer I think Cali is working through her own emotions at an age that is hard for most people. Be consistent with those boundaries but if she is talking with you and working two jobs and keeping up her grades then perhaps she is struggling but not in full blown crisis. As for the grandma I agree with Job. Cali was not necessarily wrong to step away from her grandparents at the time but she has to be able to explain her honest motivations for reconnection now. I mean isn't that the same standard you would have for her father?
Being able to voice your needs, state your boundaries and own your choices while accepting the consequences and understanding you can't control other people and/or situations. That is the standard for maturity and a great foundation to build trust. Honesty, authenticity and communication.
Hang in there. How do you like living in your new city (actually not so new anymore)? So happy you are feeling good about work. So glad you posted.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
