Just reporting. STBH took kids to a bike show then got back saying the youngest wanted to do biking and that i'll take there like we agreed. I replied: "have I?" and got the door slammed in my face. to put things into context he asked me bout it a while ago and I said that let the kid decides what she wants to do then we'll take it from here. I don't think that meant a yes from me as it means that I'll need to drive 30 minutes, wait for him to take over than I can go home. By the way it's the day he wants them overnight when I moved house.
Normally I'd have followed him to ask what the problem was or would have texted him to explain my reason why, but I didn't! 180 for me.
Today is my 1rst year anniversary of kicking him out and no tears, no anger just sadness. I think the cut from the knife wound will still be there for the rest of my life, although now I'm learning to live with it.
I don't fancy him anymore. I still love him unfortunately his latest behaviour is just proving me that all along he was/ is a selfish man and that I have completely disregarded all those red flags from the beginning.
What this pain has taught me is that since my childhood I have felt unloved but the support I got from my family since the discovery of the affair proved me wrong. It wasn't shown the right way. It has taught me that I can only fill myself with love, nobody else can, that I had/ have some issues that I needed/ still needs to address, that I have only 50 % of blame for the collapse of my marriage BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT I NEED TO TRUST MY INNER VOICE MORE!
Thanks for reading this, and this forum has taught me so much about life and relationship.
