Can you put this in a little more context? How did this go down?

Maybe brainstorm some statements that tell her you care about her, that you are sad about what had happened and wish it never had, but that you are not willing to jump back in without some reassurance that things have changed? Because I sincerely hope you aren't!

She doesn't want to go back to the way it was, I think. It sounds like she is liking some of the changes - like taking care of the house by herself. This will have to go very slowly, I don't think she is ready for you to move back in.

I think your best bet is to get to where you really don't need her as much. You can't say what you want to say, you have to sit very still for a long time. Do you meditate?

M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17