What the heck is this?

[2Times2Many]

HaWho, M - I'm glad you found something helpful in my story. If it helps others, I'm happy to share it.

The down days have been good for recharging the batteries. My face is still peeling and I hope I'm done by Monday when I have to go back to the office.

I did go out last night to a movie ... 10 Cloverfield Lane. It was an interesting one with a somewhat unexpected ending that I won't spoil.

So, I've been thinking about a couple of things the past few days and thought I'd throw this out there concerning h's low self-esteem and how to deal with it.

When h set up his living arrangements over there, he found an apt near the better part of the city that is near the embassies and gov't offices. I'm fairly certain that he presents himself as a highly successful, American businessman who "fits in" with the high achievers over there and is worthy of their respect. He is a successful businessman, so it's not really a stretch ... just not as much of a "bigwig" as I suspect he portrays.

When he talks about going out, he'll say things like, "I might go out and have a drink with my friend from the UN" or "I've been invited to a party at the Italian Embassy" or "I'm playing in a dart tournament at the British Embassy." Whenever he brings up a name of someone he knows over there, he always attaches what they do or where they work, which is usually some embassy job or a high ranking position in their field.

The need to live in the "right" part of the city, to embellish your accomplishments, to associate with the "right" people and to let others know "who" you know just cries out low self-esteem to me and I don't know how to deal with that one.

Looking back, I'm pretty sure the low self-esteem issue has been there for some time, but until this mess, I was always his biggest cheerleader and my approval and respect seemed to be all he needed. I suspect that after MLC round 1, it may have come across to him that he no longer occupied his spot atop my pedestal (and he didn't) and he may have felt he couldn't regain that spot after all that went down (IDK).

Anyhow, how do you subtly let someone know that they are worthy of respect in their own right and don't need to oversell themselves or use associations with others to boost how others view them? How do get across to someone the message that they are a valuable person deserving of respect just by being who they are when at the moment they're engaging in behaviors (and know they are) that invalidate that message. How do you become a very, very subtle cheerleader when there isn't much to cheerlead about? Or do you even try?