R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Not yet roiste, I've be distracted the last few days. I will reread your post and work on it this weekend. Why is it that I have nothing to say anymore. What has changed in me? There is no "us" and we are only tied together legally. All I can do is live my life with the people that choose to be in it. Maybe this is what giving up feels like.
All I can do is live my life with the people that choose to be in it. Maybe this is what giving up feels like.
Hi, Mu. I read your posts often, but I guess as a lurker. This struck me as so simply beautiful. Maybe because I have been fighting with myself over whether to burn certain bridges. There has been almost total radio silence from the people I once thought of as friends during this crisis. They've been civil when I've reached out, but I've stopped and there is nothing.The newer friends have shown me they care, reaching out to me and wanting to be with me. In regards to my H, I'm not ready to let go completely...I'm leaving the door cracked as our D is full steam ahead and we see each other often while working to prepare our house for sale. I wonder if he will miss me when its all done and there is no reason to contact each other? I'll cross that bridge when I come to it...we will always have our children in common, so it can never be burnt. You're simple line, "All I can do is live my life with the people that choose to be in it" really made me realize how much I need to let those who have shown that they have chosen not to be in my life need to be let go. All I have to do is stop wasting my breath and thoughts on them. They are just a part of my past now. Thank you.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
Mu, I have been thinking a lot about you recently.
I go to write and I am not sure what to say.
I am coming to the US in a few weeks and will be visiting close to where you are I think.
I will think of you while I visit on the same soil, breathing similar air, seeing the same sky, waking to the same sunrise, sharing the same time LOL.
When you choose the people you want in the next phase of you life I will be standing right beside Lady V. When you are ready kind sir, I am happy to be a strong solid thread of your brand new parachute.
Vanilla, thank you for your kind words. Ciluzen, thank you for your support. We are of the same generation married for the same time. I'll come visit your thread. Jelly, as I think of what to write, no words come to mind but I am smiling, which says it all.
I think part of the reason I don't have much to say is that the shock has worn off and I have accepted my situation. I have begun to notice the interactions of couples I see in my daily life. I am looking to see how a loving wife looks at her husband. I know it is only a snapshot in a lifetime but the eyes don't lie. It is nice to see look of love.
Keep staying strong mu, whatever happens you will be fine. You're developing and growing the man that is capable of handling anything life throws at him.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Interesting, I look around at couples and I see loads of bad signs in their interactions. I have learned to be aware of subtle stuff that many people don't see.
I do also see the good interactions too. One day we will have those again.bu You sound like you have given up. This is not a judgement:, just a friendly observation.
During your last R talk, your W revealed: of the reasons she wants nothing to do with you.You have also had recent x about your own behavior etc. With your IC you have also discovered issues to work on. Howk are you getting on working on all of that. Regardless of what happens with W you need to work on eliminating these.
I would also caution you on about what you accept.Yes accept that you have no R and W wants nothing to do with you. This is true, at this present moment.That can change.If you believe it cannot you could create a self fulfilling prophesy.
The happier you are, the better are your chances of saving your M. Don'tputv your life on hold waiting for W to decide to come back to you. The classes etc you are doing are great, but what are you doing to have fun? N
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together