VERY IMPORTANT. I need help ASAP!!

[- MB -]

I already am the better choice

Agreed.

Aww Zues, that's sweet!

common sense dictates that the longer you two are disconnected the less chance there is of reconnecting, and I can see how you'd feel that way. On the other hand WAH is on a journey on his own, and it might be the fastest way he'd ever be prepared to consider reconnecting would be if he's left to that journey and gets to see where it leads. Part of that might include the fear of loss, which he certainly wouldn't feel if you're soliciting counseling.

So, basically what you're saying is that even though he never mentioned the word D to me I should just accept the papers, stay NC and then go to court and sit there, then get up and leave without ever in my life uttering another word to him unless he speaks first? I can't imagine anyone doing that. Just never say another word. Did you talk to your wife after you got served?

The idea of "working" makes it sound like there is something you can do that will achieve the results you want. Well, we know that isn't true. You can try things and monitor results the rest of your life, but you can't make someone love you.

A lot of NC is about what I referenced above...while you can't force things to get better, you can avoid making them worse

I don't have to make him love me, I believe that he still does. When I broke NC in Dec. he immediately wanted to R until counselor scared him away. She was still reaching out to him so he ran right back to her. I did talk to him after he pulled the rug that second time and got him to go to the Dr and he was put on antidepressants--I just pulled some strings and got him the appointment, the rest was up to him.. Then, I just sat here and went NC again. He DOES respond some to me when I try. So, why would I NOT try? I understand that this is his journey, but I see the sadness and confusion in him. Does that not mean something? I know I can't make him do anything. Believe me, I do know this! I'm just talking about giving him an option, not trying to cram my opinion down his throat. OW certainly isn't just sitting back and letting him decide the path of his journey!