New to Site - Just found about another

[Zues126]

We have been Married for 20 years and I believe she has been having an affair for 8-10 years of it.
I found some pretty concrete evidence that she did it and confronted her, she denied it and tried to make lame excuses. It didn't work because I know for sure. She was out of town on a work conference and I believe he was there, I went there to find him/her but she wouldn't come out of her room saying she was scared. So I agreed to meet her in public so it gave her at least 40 minutes to clean up, I confronted her and she wouldn't admit She did say she is willing to make this marriage work and agreed to counseling. She seems committed but I really can't believe anything she says. I feel alone, betrayed, scared, and confused. I still want to spend time searching for more evidence - which I think is pointless and a waste of time.
Just read through the 37 rules and will start living by them right now, some of them are hard to do at this stage but I will do it. Glad I found somewhere to go (this site) to help with the confusion and get some advice on how to move forward constructively. I want to save this marriage.

1. I'm SORRY. This )($)^(*
2. Do NOT be overly communicative right now. Just tell her you need some time to think. You DO. Reassuring her would be the worst thing ever. If she's serious then you taking a few weeks to sort through your feelings won't sink the ship. But you being too eager to sweep this under the rug WILL. It will lead to her leading a double life, doing this again, etc. Be strong and back off.
3. This skipped from her 'not admitting' anything to 'wanting to make the M work'. Did she ever admit her A? If not I'd say there is nothing to discuss until she admits the truth, answers any and all questions you have, and commits to ending any such extramarital relationships immediately and permanently. If she's not willing then just tell her you have some decisions to make and go dark. Keep posting here, read up, get strong, and go SLOWLY.