MB, If your h is in a MLC, there is nothing you can do to turn it around. You can't cure him or control him. Depression is the main ingredient of a MLC.
Your posting sounds like you are in a panic mode, which I can understand, but you can't "get" your h to the counseling meeting. He has to decide for himself if this is what he wants to do. Generally, if a MLCer goes to a counseling session, it is to appease the spouse and yes, they do tend to hear what they want to hear and trust me, they can twist what the counselor is saying to justify how they feel about the relationship. Again, you can't cure him or control him. The only control you have is over yourself.
If you opt to continue to go down the path of trying to get him into the counselor, I would suggest that you mention to him that there is an appointment available on such and such date if he wishes to go. The decision has to be his and you can't push him. Also, MLCers do not like for us to tell them what is wrong w/them because they don't think anything is wrong until much later in the crisis.
MLC takes years and the old saying "you didn't break him, therefore you can't fix" him holds true. MLC is about issues from their childhood that haven't been resolved and it's all about HIM, not YOU.
Now, step back and BREATHE! I know that you are scared and want to try to turn things around...but you may not be able to do so. In fact, you may make him more determine to see the divorce thru to the end. The harder you push, the more he'll run and pull away from you and look to the ow for comfort and validation.
Please, please take care of yourself. I wish you the best of luck on the counseling issue.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
