VERY IMPORTANT. I need help ASAP!!

[- MB -]

Zues, good to hear from you! I do realize that there is always a small chance that he could decide he wants to R after the D. However, I think it would be more likely to R while we are still married. He filed Feb 23 so my D could actually be final on April 25th. That's really not that far away.

If I'm completely honest, I would agree that I can see trying to get him to counselor with me could be seen as controlling. But I really do think it could help. He was with me in Dec. and then willingly went with me to counseling and ended things the very next time he saw me. I really can't blame him for being scared away after that appointment!

I already am the better choice. I have no self confidence at all, but even I can see that! I have also been the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of needy, clingy, controlling, crazy, and worse than the ow. I don't even see him. I don't drive by, I don't check phone records. I don't text or call. I haven't bumped into him. I haven't been in his life at all. When I did that last time, he assumed I had moved on and so did he. When he saw me again, he wanted me back.

NC is great for some people, but according to DB you're supposed to try something and monitor results. If it's not working, do something different! Well, it's coming up on almost 6 months. How long should I monitor NC before doing something else? What works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. If he's feeling defeated, depressed and has no self confidence at all right now, why would he reach out to me when it's just easier to let ow drag him along the path he's on? Does that mean that's what he wants? Not necessarily. It could just mean that he's too depressed to put up a fight or put any effort into trying anything else when he assumes it won't matter.

Just my thoughts. Would love to hear your thoughts on them Zues!