Well..I think I need to give up alcohol. I don't drink, much..but I think no more GAL where the goal is"go out for drinks" Maybe dinner and drinks..but no just drinks.
Yesterday was GOOD..I was FIRM on my boundaries. Told my H I didn't want a hug or to have him touch me. FIRM. That upset him.
I ended up with 15 texts, 2 Facebook messages, and 3 missed calls. Most were, what's your problem, why are you ignoring me, etc etc. I ignored them all except the 1-2 about our kids.
My GAL is when everything went downhill. I had a car decide to go in reverse at a red light and hit my car, then drive off like a crazy person. No damage was done, but that was the start of a bad night.
I wear contacts and lost one while driving because I was tired and rubbed my eye. I had to go home to get one. I called H, asked if he could grab my extra and meet me at the door. He said, no you can come inside and get them. Long story short, he thought I was too "drunk" to drive( I wasn't) and took my keys. He said he had to make sure the mother of his kids comes back home alive.
So I slept at my house last night, woke up early, got showered and dressed and left that way H could have the day with the kids. I went to my dr appt. I came home, we all had lunch and H left. He didn't mention me spending the night, I didn't mention it. I think it's a don't ever talk about it again thing.
Today was back to normal. We really didn't even talk besides saying Hey I will have a or b day off this week. I said okay, he left. He also caught a bad cold from S3 so he is now super sick.
I won't see him for 2-3 more days and I am happy with that.
My GAL today is way better, taking kids to my bff's to hangout and play with her kids. Good time. I am EXHAUSTED today though. I know I will sleep good tonight.
I feel like I'm a self sabotager, No more. I will be FIRM for a day and the next day I'm more relaxed. STRONG everyday. EVERY single DAY. I do the same with weight loss..projects..I need to change my self sabotaging ways. It's not good. I don't even realize i'm doing it but i'm glad I see it now.
