Baby steps

[Painter]

Well, the die is cast - my son is coming in 3 weeks to help me load up and drive 1000 miles back with all my stuff. It will be a very strange feeling. I don't expect to ever come back to this state or see my home again, and I've lived here for 15 years.

H is also hurting - but not enough to call it all off. He wants space and time to find out if he misses me or not. I'm pretty sure he'll 'stay busy' and not miss me at all, I told him I bet there will be another woman in here within 3 months. (3 weeks if it's OW.)

He keeps talking about maybe coming to visit, or even move after me - if I get a good job and he doesn't have to work full-time. I think he's just comforting himself and trying to feel a little better about the whole thing, that if it's not final, it's not so painful. For me, it just increases the pain by dragging it out.

I have been packing today, and made sure to pack a smaller box with CDs for the drive. It's all Aretha Franklin and other girl power music. My poor son...

This is going to be rough.