Ups and downs (II)

[JulieH]

So my background...I am raised by 2 of the most cynical and negative people on the planet. Their philosophy is if you expect the worst, you will never be dissapointed. We have never been raised with any type of religion or with any type of spirituality. We are grounded to the earth and then some. My parents worry about everything. Very risk adverse. Not much fun at all. Just to give you an example... We said something to son about cat going to heaven and my parents were worried that son would start to become more reckless with the security of a heaven and not having the fear of death. (You can't make this stuff up)

So for me to change my thought process is VERY challenging.

Basically coach talked about how our thoughts created our emotions which effects our behavior. If we have negative thoughts, it creates bad feelings which can effect how we act (self sabatoge/self limiting behaviors)

She said I have to remember that I am in control of my thoughts. Problem is I have always thought negative thoughts. I am afraid to think positively. It is so unnatural for me to do so (with the exception of my lottery fantasy) it is scary for me to do so. I do not want to be dissapointed...

Positive thoughts she introduced

1. "Life is about energy and vibrations. Everything has a spiritual solution"
2. " Life is exciting"
3. " Best is around the corner"
4. "All things happen for our learning and for our good."
5. " this situation is making me stronger. I am learning about myself. I have great child and can teach them from this"

So basically being happy will benefit me because my actions will be self serving. In order to be happy, my thoughts need to be positive and I want to be happy regardless of my situation. This should be possible, since I was sad/anxious even when husband was with me because my thougts were so negative.

When I got off the phone with her I felt great. But now again today, feel down again because feeling negative about chance of reconciliation with husband. But if I think positive about husband I could be setting myself up for major dissapointment. But thinking positively would help me become lighter and happier and would win or re attract husband and possibly other good things as well.

So I know I need to think positively. I just don't know how to be consistent with it.
And I am afraid to lose sense of reality as well or something else that I don't understand.