What the heck is this?

[2Times2Many]

After re-reading my post, I don't want to give anyone the impression that h went on a trip with a buddy and snapped.

Looking back on it (that 20/20 hindsight again), the underlying depression was already there.

We moved out west because h had always wanted to build a ranch in the west. At first it was an adventure for both of us and always was for me. I loved it, but it wasn't an easy life.

When we first moved there, we'd take off on a day trip most every weekend and explore the area, but he lost interest in doing that.

The house was nearly done and h lost interest in finishing it. There was exterior work, mostly cosmetic, that needed to be finished and the kitchen was still "temporary." Those things didn't get done until after his trip and we got ready to sell.

We had always traveled a lot, but now money was tight and there were animals (horses) to tend to and we were pretty much stuck at home. No travel.

We went to auctions and would find things we could clean up and refurbish and sell on ebay for a little extra money and H did that for a while, then lost interest.

He had thought that once he built the house, he would find a decent job (a career) but jobs were scarce and he remained unemployed.

There were issues in the community that threatened our property value and that caused him great concern (and is why we sold and moved).

My mother lost her home (an apt) on the east coast due to a hurricane and she was living with us, which put a damper on our usual playful interaction.

All of the excitement of our adventure seemed to fade for him and he became stuck in the everyday "have to do" routine and lost interest in most everything we had planned or hoped to do out there.

Looking back on it, he was depressed before he took that trip with his buddy ... I just didn't see it. There was some trigger over there that set the MLC in motion. I don't know what it was and probably never will. I don't think he even knows what it was, but I could be wrong. It very well could have been that he was unfaithful and couldn't face what he had done. But if he was, that would have been totally out of character for him ... not something he (or I) would have ever thought he could do for I knew he loved me to depths of his soul. Which brings me back to depression and MLC.

I just wanted to clarify that and not lead anyone astray.