Baby steps

[Painter]

Hi 1313,

I think a lot of what comes out of the mouths of WS's is script... I was amazed when I read the quotes and then heard it from H. It's sort of fascinating, if it wasn't so sad and hurtful.

We actually saw a MC who had taken Michele's course, but she had a hard time with H. Not that I'm perfect, but I think I was more willing to put myself out there, learn and change. After he dropped out of MC, she said she is 100% pro-M, but wouldn't blame me if I left. It was mainly because of the way she saw him treat me in the sessions, and the things he admitted to doing outside of them. He really, really doesn't get that it is wrong - he just thinks that he deserves whatever he wants.

Some people get mean if you treat them nice. I am not a weak person and I don't let H get away with poor behavior, but I try to treat him like I would any person I care deeply for, and not get into a tit-for-tat mindset. I have tried to cultivate an 'us' attitude with compromising and working together, finding ways to communicate, but H is entrenched in a win/lose scenario and a power battle.

I am taking a break from packing - I started packing up boxes with stuff that can go to storage this morning and have been at it most of the day, and I'm exhausted.

My plan is to leave the area - I will go stay with family while saving for a downpayment so I can get myself a place to live. The job market is so much better there and I can probably get at least a temp job almost immediately.

My goal is to be fair with H when it comes to financials - I only want what is clearly mine of our possessions, one vehicle, and spousal support. I'm asking for quite a bit less than the guideline amount because I expect to make more money in the future than I do currently. There is really nothing else to get, there are no other assets to fight over. I have consulted with a very good and expensive D expert L several times, so I feel very good about it.