I swear there some sparkling somewhere...(4)

[Sparkls]

Journaling:
Today's been a struggle. Had really vivid dreams about H and my brain keeps going back to d-day.
We had a really long conversation that day and talked about the future and what we wanted and by the end of it, he was talking about "our" hypothetical kids and "our" future.
I was really weary of what he was saying but I'd be lying if it didn't think there was a good chance he was going to stay. Then he talked to OW and it was a light switch. It became I never loved you, never wanted this etc and it's been that since.
I think I saw a glimpse of my real guy on d-day. And I'm struggling with how to get him back, if it's possible and how to keep up hope that who he is now isn't his forever.
It's hard to not believe him 100% when he's telling his friends it'll never work between us and he's moving 2000 miles away and defriended on the game we play together (first time in the entire 8 years I've known him that I've ever seen him defriend someone and that person is me...)

Is it hopeless? Am I really never going to see him again?