Baby steps

[1313]

Painter,
I hear so much of the exact same circular arguments in your R as I did in mine. It sounds literally like a cut and paste. My W too liked to spend, I was so walking on eggshells at the end that I hadn't even gone to the dentist so as to not be accused of spending and could keep the W's credit cards free and clear.

It's really hard to validate when you are being bombarded in such a way. You almost have to pick parts out to validate and not defend yourself on others.

My W finally went to MC, but it wasn't to try to work through anything - rather pretend to go through the motions while saying that there was nothing I could do to change her mind. I can think of an easier way to spend a grand. So if your H isn't interested, there's no reason to go unless you get somebody like Michele, who might be able to say something he'd listen to.

You're in a tough spot. If you leave, it will be much, much harder to reconcile. As I've found, if you have no reason to communicate such as kids - then that's kind of it. Well, you've seen what's been going on with me.

It's just so sad that money seems to be the root of the issue - whether or not that's an excuse I don't know. Sounds terribly familiar. Would you getting a full time job be a 180 he'd notice? If so, what good would come of it?

If indeed you are ready to let go, who knows. Maybe in leaving he'll really decide he misses you. I'm hearing a lot of positives coming from him in between the hurtful stuff. That's what I'd be focusing on if you want it to work. But the yelling rants have got to stop. I'm not sure how to diffuse that.