Need help. Threading water, learning to swim.

[sandi2]

AAnother example of my growth, WW was complaining that the AC on 2nd floor wasn't working. I initially thought to myself, why is she telling me this? According to her I never do anything around the house. Let het fix it. Then I thought that I'm a fixer and one of the things she used to love about me and something I liked about myself (mainly because it's always gotten the attention of the ladies) is that I am capable of some home repair. Turns out that the batteries in the thermostat were dead and needed to be replaced.

FWIW, and I don't know that all M women are this way or not, but I grew up seeing the man repairing or having things repaired. When I got M, that was the pattern we had in our home. It fell under the heading of the "man's work". So, if this has been the pattern in your home and MR, it is automatic thinking for her to report to the man whatever isn't working.

Now this is JMHO, if the man is paying for that house, or if he is staying under the same roof with her, he can look like a jerk or be responsible for his own property. If he is going to receive a bill for having a professional to fix it.......it may serve him better to not leave it up to her to take care of the repair. Know what I mean?

The other side of that coin is if she is living in a separate house (and she is displaying in wayward behavior) and reports that something is not working, then he needs to tell her in so many words that he no longer is her handyman. Some wayward W's need that jolt of realization that he is no longer available to do those things, especially when she has betrayed him. It depends upon where they are in the journey. If she has stopped the wayward behavior and they are working toward a R, then the decision would be left to his own discretion. WW's can be manipulative, even in things such as getting the LBH to be her electrician, plumber, comp tech, etc.

See? Now, what's so complicated about a little question of repair or not repair? (jk)