Those issues sound similar to the traits you are working towards. There are basically three steps to this.
1. Recognize the problem.
2. Decide to do something about it
3. DO it.

You are two thirds of the way there. Keep going.

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together