With me, I'm becoming less sure that telling people would make matters worse. If anything, it would be one more reality the W would have to face. Right now, I'm the monster - people who she's talked to think I'm the one that filed, and I've been a total rat-bas*rd to her. I walked into the bank I've been going to for decades - and you'd think I was a leper. It was incredible. They even asked my Mother to take her account elsewhere. Can you believe that?
The reason I went with the Exposure tactic was the website I found strongly promoted it. I didn't go "nuclear" but I had a targeted hit list of 10 mutual friends of WW and me and then I scavenged OM's Facebook page (I don't know the rat personally). Let me tell you it got me a big reaction! At that point I was at wit's end, since WW told me "it's over, don't even try to R." I figured my M is over anyway, I need to at least get the truth out there. My WW did become somewhat depressed afterwards, especially when she realized her mother and cousin were on MY SIDE. She was especially upset about that. She told me that she wasn't sure of going through with D but after I exposed her she was positive she wanted to end the M. (Ummm.. She told me the same thing before Exposure too!) They forced her to come back to my house and stay... But she was able to turn them after telling them that she would die if she stayed married to me, or something to that effect. Would I do it again if given the chance? Probably. I think the sequence and timing would be a little different, now knowing the reaction. Of the 10 mutual friends, 3 turned out to be Enablers who sided with her (even got her a secret second phone, to gaslight me!) But that's another story.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
