Yes though my H is a decent guy, he did have an A. But as we all know, that's only a symptom of a larger problem. I realize he is on a journey right as I am too. Just wishing he'd wake up and realize he can't live like this. Well shoot, maybe he has already woken up and this is it. I hope he still has feelings for me as his wife. I hope he acts on those feelings and comes back to me. But I know either way,I will be ok.
Just got home and relaxing a bit before I head to the gym. I hate coming home to an empty house that is causing me stress, knowing that H is a few blocks down living it up in his man cave. Nights like this when the seasons are changing reminds me of how much I love coming home at night and cooking for him and telling him about my day. Now, I don't know anything about him at all.
But I'll keep going. I'm not happy with my life right now. I truly miss this man, even though I don't show it and try to stay on the up and up. And like so many others here, I want a new M with H, not the old one. I want another chance at this with him. I know I made a lot of mistakes - my attitude sucked and I didn't treat him the right way all of the time and now, he might find someone better than me that he could be happy with. I can't stand the thought of him having kids with someone else. Not after everything we've been through together. He's not perfect and has made mistakes but I still want our M. I feel confused, irritated and lonely.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
