You have got to get out of this " what if " funk. Or if I could have.

You are going to find yourself saying it again in a few years about the time you are in right now. You are not living in the present. You are living in the past and future.
How is that possible?

M 37
W 34

T 12
M 8
D 7
S 4

Need break 4/12/15
W no ring 7/7/15

Separate room 4/12/15
Separate living suggested 8/15
W moved out 11/1/15