What the heck is this?

[2Times2Many]

Ciluzen - Thanks for stopping in. It's hard to tell what my h is up to. Based on how he "hibernates" when he's here, I suspect all his talk about his active social life is a little blown out of proportion. My h used to be an early riser, too. Now he sleeps until 8 or 9 in the morning. It's so hard to watch a loved one suffering and know there is nothing you can do to help them.

Well, I had my chemical peel today. All went fine, but afterwards, the girl was telling me what she wanted me to use to wash my face which meant a stop at the store on the way home. I wish she had told me beforehand as my face was red and blotchy, it was coated with sunscreen (which made me look like I had covered it in oil) and I had to go into a store! So I stop and try to shop as invisibly as I can, kept my head down so no one would notice me and how horrible I looked, used the self-checkout lane and got out as quick as I could so I could go home and hide. The things we do to look good when we look at ourselves in the mirror.

In MLC land, when I talked to h yesterday, I told him I wouldn't be in the office the rest of the week. He asked if I had anything special planned. I was stunned ... what ... you're actually showing some interest in what I'm up to? I was vague and just told him not much ... girl's night out on Friday ... maybe a movie.

He also said he'd received an email from his Mom that I was going there for Easter dinner. I don't usually do that. Since he flew the coop, I usually spend holidays, etc with my kids, with friends or travel somewhere, so this is out of character ... a 180 for me! I just told him the kids were otherwise occupied, his Mom invited me and I decided to go and asked "why?"
He said he was surprised. I thought a lot about accepting that invite because the last time they invited me to dinner, he told me not to go. My IC thinks he's trying to cut me off from his family. IDK if I agree with that, but I can see how he'd get antsy if I got too close to his parents. Then again, maybe that's what prompted to ask about what I'm doing over here. Who knows. Oh my gosh ... has he lost control???

I awoke this morning to a message (first morning text from h in a while) wishing me happy "weekend." I replied with, "Thanks."

Then I had to text him later about a maintenance issue I discovered and had a couple of questions before calling a repairman. He helped with that, then asked what I had planned for the day. I thought, "Ok, you're curious so I'll give you something." I told him about the appt to start the process to get rid of the age spots. He thought that was "cool." I also thought that somewhere down the road I didn't want to be accused of not being truthful with him. I mean, the face thing is something he SHOULD notice.

It will also be interesting to see if he takes care of the age spots he's been complaining about. One of things that I've noticed with him is that if I do something in the GAL category, he follows suit by doing the same or something similar. So, I'm curious.

He's probing to find out what I'm up to, sending texts and such ... being nice ... a friend. I might look at that as something positive, but I'm sad to say that it makes my radar go off. It makes me wonder what he wants. So sad.

Another thing that gives me pause is that his birthday is coming up soon and he will turn the same age as his Mom was when she had a debilitating stroke. She's partially paralyzed on one side of her body. I'm not sure he realizes her exact age when that happened, but it was her early 50s and that much he knows. I think that, in addition to his childhood issues, had a lot to do with where he is now. I hope he doesn't remember that he's about to turn her exact age. I'm not sure how well he'd deal with that

So, I have another down day at home tomorrow while my face peels away. I have a jigsaw puzzle ... a lighthouse, ironically ... so a day at home puzzling with some good music playing in the background should go a long way toward recharging the battery.