I wish I had some answers for you. I don't know if you'll ever really get them. Only advice I have is to take a step back and stop trying to analyze it to death (next to impossible I know). I can't believe he hasn't thought about you at all in all this time. Keep trucking along, the path will show itself eventually.
M:26 H:32 T:8yrs ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16 D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16 Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW I moved to different state: 06/16 Currently: Trying to move forward