I'm glad you returned to post an update. I'm glad things are going well with your job and you are continuing to attend the Debtor's Anonymous Program. I'm sure you are learning a lot about the triggers and also meeting some really nice people.

I'm very sorry to read about Cali. She's certainly changed a bit and even after knowing what her father has done to the family to pick up the "Weed" habit isn't good. I know you are very much aware of the "addictive" personality and how some of that can be inherited. I think you are very wise to step back and not trust her.

No matter the relationship between your mom and you, she did the right thing in taking the leased car back. I honestly don't blame them for doing so. Isn't Cali still working when she's not going to college? I guess she now figures that she can't go to your mother for help when it comes to finances. I'm surprised she's not reached out to your father.

I'm not surprised that she's reached out to Matt's mother. Why? Because she knows that she was the favorite granddaughter and figures she can get not only emotional support from her, but possible financial help too at some point.

Actually, I think Matt's mother is spot on in asking her questions about not hearing from her for a few years and why now? What's changed? I don't think that Matt's mother was lacking empathy or being cold when she asked Cali the questions that she did. It's been a long time since she and Cali have had any contact and yes, there were several phone and text messages sent to Cali and she chose not to respond to them. So, in her grandmother's eyes, Cali made the decision to cut all ties. Cali is going to have to honest w/her and tell her why she's chosen to reach out at this point in her life. She can't just waltz back into these people's lives and say "here I am". I do think Cali owes them an explanation and even an apology for not returning the calls and/or test messages...but this is their relationship to work out and hopefully the fences can be mended...but time will tell.

I do hope that my opinion of what the grandmother stated doesn't upset you...but I would have eventually asked the same questions after I had been "dissed" for a few years. It's human nature to wonder "why now"?

Continue to tell Cali that you love her and hopefully she'll get her act together. She is a very intelligent young lady and I would hate to see her throw her life away on drugs and alcohol. I know you know the drill...don't enable her and do not bail her out financially...you've got to take care of yourself and Louisa.

Please take care of yourself.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.