KGirl - new life, new stuff

[KGirl]

Bah.. I don't know what it is about today but I feel like I'm backsliding and wanting to cry at work again, and I had a bunch of days where I wasn't crying at all! Is it the weather (rainy and windy and gross here) or not getting enough sleep or something else in my brain? I'm frustrated that for a 2nd time I got into a situation where I believed that someone was more invested in me/the R than they actually were, and rather than talk about what was bothering them or the issues they were able to just walk away, leaving me wondering what the heck happened. How do I break out of this pattern?? Am I doomed to keep getting overly invested and interested in people when they don't feel the same way about me? How come I'm not recognizing that they don't feel similarly or as into it as I am? &$*#@&!*$! I hate that I invested this time and energy with this person and I'm having trouble getting him out of my head today. So many random things remind me of him and times we had together, even at work. We'd sometimes meet up at the student union for drinks/hanging out and I go there regularly for events and it S*CKS. I keep wondering what he's up to, if he misses me as much as I miss him (probably not because wouldn't he do something about it if he did?), if he's seeing someone or dating already, if he's happier without me, etc. I feel like *I* wasn't done with the relationship yet even if perhaps I would have gotten there on my own eventually.