My first post - please be nice.

[Georgia Bulldogs]

I think this is a waste of TIME and money, she IS cheating, whether it is with another person or not.
Infidelity does not have to have another person involved,
although it usually ends up that there is one.

So what are you going to change with this knowledge that she is cheating?

Cadet, my friend, it makes all the difference in the world. It changes EVERYTHING.

Instead of lamenting his failures to buy her Valentine's Day presents and not love her exactly how she deserved to be loved, he can instead begin to address honestly the biggest obstacle to reconciliation of his marriage...the affair.

Instead of sitting back and using his "gift of time" while his wife destroys her life; he can use the time he has remaining before she is lost to her sin to try to battle evil.

Collin is a Christian. As a Christian husband he is ONE with his wife. Her sins have consequences for him too. He is responsible for her and must hold her accountable for her sins. She may not like that. She'll probably get really angry but their marriage can survive her anger....an ongoing ever deeming illicit secret love affair is harder to overcome than some anger. It's his duty as a Christian. He needs to have his priorities in order...God, Marriage, Family, Church, Country. If and when he discoveries her affair...his first order of business is to confront her privately. If she refuses to stop, then he should be talking to their pastor. The the pastor (and he) should meet with her alone to discuss her behavior and where to go from there biblically.

Collin...I really feel for you. It's the most painful thing in the world to finally realize your wife is cheating on you. It's also incredibly isolating to have no idea what to do or say and become paralyzed by the overwhelming predicament. Please seek the help and guidance of persons in your real life with the experience to handle and advise in this situation. Most likely your pastor as marriage counselors are generally worthless when it comes to infidelity. Also keep posting here while using some discernment about the advice since it's a public discussion forum where anyone can share their ideas - good or bad.