The last time I was here, I went through my nightmare with a LBS named TO34. Many people have spoken about her story here.
You remind me very much of TO. At first, she just couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. But slowly, she started getting stronger and she started to back off and detach. Eventually she was so strong, she was willing to walk away from it all. She had had enough. That's when her H started coming back around.
But I remember to she wrote her posts almost identical to the way you write your posts. I would encourage you to read her story.
