I swear there some sparkling somewhere...(4)

[Sparkls]

I think H reverted back to being 19 again. When we first started dating, I repeatedly asked him if he'd be ok with me being the breadwinner. He said yes, and has always acted like it was ok.
But he's been with me for 8 years. Clearly whatever it was didn't bother him that much. Until OW came into the picture> then suddenly he didn't want this life. Suddenly being a SAHD isn't good enough. Suddenly, despite always supporting his dreams, I've stifled them. I never judged him or thought less of him for wanting to be a stay at home dad. But I also would've been perfectly fine if he said he didn't want to and he wanted to open a small business or whatever. But that's all forgotten now.
You're right, it's not normal. Everyone has said that. Why leave a doctor who loves you and plays video games with you for an unemployed crazy chick.

All of that is all fine and dandy. I can over analyze him till the cows come home. It's not going to help me get him to come home. I can't not be a doctor. I can't not be successful. I can't not be caring and kind. I can't not be smart and driven. And worst of all, I can't stop loving him even with how much he's hurting me. And I'm just repeatedly punished for it.
I can't help but feeling I was better off when I didn't let anyone get this close.