So Much Time is Passing By Pt. II

[GWH]

Hang in there Hope. You can do this. You will become a person only a fool would leave.

[pinn]

Hi Hope,

I was just reading your thread a bit. The NC is for you as others mentioned. For me, that route was much easier. There was nothing to worry about, nothing to plan for, no expectations. I think it brought me to a really good place. My WW's IC told her to NC me as well so there was a bit of a stalemate. I went 7 months with minimal contact and 3 months buried in there of solid no contact (I meaning nothing!). Even now, the contact is minimal by most standards, but I have noticed a changed in WW's behavior since about x-mas time.

hang in there

[pinn]

Should have read Zues post first....

I really believe that NC does not make things worse like Zues says. It took me a while to understand. One thing I know for sure looking back is that pursing absolutely made things worse. Luckily I have been through this before and cut that out pretty quick.

Your WAH needs to experience exactly what it is like to be without and NC achieves that. That is what I am trying to show WW as well.

[HopeRB]

Thank you Pinn. I do believe NC and detachment is keeping me from further pain, I just wish that H wasn't so relieved to be away from me. It feels like he is just over it.

I just noticed he transfered money to my account and it's not alot but I am grateful. The thing is he knows the predicament he's left me in. I haven't asked him for help with anything but he has offered but hasn't done what he said until now but even still, I need so much more. Also we've been NC as I've been waiting for him to initiate as he said he would.

Should I reach out and say thank you or something? And if so, how should I say it. He used to say that I seemed ungrateful and I guess he felt I took advantage of him. Should I say something to him? Will this mess up all the dark/DBing I've done? I dont want to start all over again.

[GWH]

I would not.He may be trying to draw you in. Your doing great.Keep it up.

[HopeRB]

I feel like he doesn't have an ulterior motives with that. I think he is just trying to help out b/c he feels bad. But I don't want to make it seem like I'm not grateful...

[HopeRB]

He's been saying that he is numb to all of it. And I think is is also numb to my dark/DBing at this point. Which means he has no feelings about anything at this point a.k.a. indifference. Which I'm assuming he feels he cant come back from. So me saying thank you vs not saying anything until he initiates contact will mean a can of beans in the grand scheme of the sitch. Any advice on course of action would be much appreciated.

[Sparkls]

I would just say a simple thank you when appropriate is fine but I wouldn't go out of my way to send one, if that makes sense. Like, if he mentions it, just say thank you. But I wouldn't break NC to send the thank you.

You're mind reading. And as we all know, that does us no good because we really have no clue whats going on in their brains. Hell, look at ours. If anyone looked at my thoughts throughout the day and tried to make sense of them, they'd be spinning in circles.

Just keep doing what youre doing. Give it some more time. Things will eventually change, one way or the other and you can face that challenge when it comes.

[broke]

I would just say a simple thank you when appropriate is fine but I wouldn't go out of my way to send one, if that makes sense. Like, if he mentions it, just say thank you. But I wouldn't break NC to send the thank you.

I agree with Sparkles. I don't think it is worth breaking NC to send the thank you. Keep us posted. I hope you had a good day, Hope

[HopeRB]

Thanks for weighing in. Today I was very irritated and angry for no reason in particular other than the mountain I drag along with me everyday.. But I'm remaining patient. We have so many time sensitive things and we left on such a nice note when I saw him. What happened?! I almost feel like a child in all of this.

He lives a few blocks down but I don't even know the address. I just feel so excommunicated from his life. I'm so confused. 8 months later, I still feel out of my mind, missing him and wanting my M. This is on my heart.