Need practical ideas to aid my 180/Last Resort.WAW

[bigybiz]

MrBond. Thanks for your comments. Maybe you can help me a little here. Do you have some suggestions about finding a balance in an in house separation?

The issue I have is the balance between my GAL and dealing with her acting as the summer student you let live in your house for a few months. You know the one that promised to help - but never did.

I've been taking on more in the home because I need to know how to run my home (so I've started cooking again after 20 years, finding out the secrets of the linens in my home etc. So if she leaves - I'll be OK and she will know that her kids are not starving and not living in filth. But, she has not left - she is hiding in our basement, taking on few responsibilities in the house. So I've been trying to firmly and smartly (again trying) to delegate "Hey - I've done the laundry etc, can you take care of the bathroom and kitchen. Yes, the deck is stacked against me - any and all actions on my part will be seen as controlling. I still need to action responsibly, proportionally and still be sensitive to her perceptions.

If I've learned anything from the DB/DR books etc is that being a wimp and being controlling are both not going to get me my desired results.

So, if I do everything and let her act like a spoiled child. What message does that send to her and my kids?

Your practical suggestions are very much needed.