I went great guns on catching up on the repairs and maintenance. I'm backing that off a little now. Someone (maybe you) said that some WAW get more resentful when they see the projects getting completed after they have "pulled the trigger".
Let me try to clarify. First of all, any repairs that you can fix, then fix them ASAP. And if you can't fix them, call a professional. It adds to the resentment and frustration for a woman to see her H ignore and/or continue putting off fixing what is broken around the house. It can cause him to look lazy and having little pride about his home. It is things like this that work on women's nerves, and ultimately, hurting the MR. She acts mad or silent, and he doesn't know what's eating at her. She figures, "What's the use in saying anything, b/c it doesn't do any good". See what I mean? She pushes down more resentment and it builds over the years.
What you may have read from me about not doing all the work, was referring to when some H's go into this Super Husband mode and is doing his work and her work, as well. And if she's a SAHM or not, it is simply the H kissing her a$$, and she knows it. Except for unusual circumstances, I don't think it is healthy for the MR for H to work at a FT job and then fly into doing 100% of everything else, too. If the couple can agree on who does what chores, that's great. That is what I meant by staying balanced.
Do what you and your W consider to be the "man's" work around the house, plus clean up after yourself. Since you are in-house separation, keep your room/bath cleaned and share the cleaning for the rest of the house. Help with the cooking, laundry, etc. (or whatever the two of you work out). If she prefers to mow the yard and you had rather cook.....great!
I have seen H's nearly kill themselves trying to hold down a job, do all the care of the children, and all the housework/cooking/laundry/ etc. (Btw, I have also seen that fall on the W). That is not balanced, and when there is no balance....the relationship gets out of whack b/c of resentments.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
