Why not move to your mom's now, save your pesos and get your own place when push comes to shove?
He can't really do anything about it until one of you files unless you don't tell him of your intended move, right? You're not stopping him from seeing the kids, etc... but he also can't hold the house over your head and he can't use it to control or manipulate the situation.
So you move out now or save and move out later, but do it before he or a judge gets to dictate what options you have.
I would check with a L to see if this is an option, but I don't see why you can't or wouldn't be able to do this; It's no different than what he did moving out.
You also don't need to worry about what happens to his house; he's the DS who moved out of it in the first place...
IMO he wants to use the house to get out of child support payments, but CS is something he legally has to do... You realize that if you made an agreement like this that he could boot you at any time (whether he would or wouldn't, he could) and move OW right on in without skipping a beat. You would have no place to live and thus, would lose some parental rights as well. Is this all making sense?
Whether or not he would is not the question. The fact remains that as long as you're there, he gets to dictate your living arrangement. Take that away and now you are on more even footing.
You need to get yourself on the same level as him. Why do I know this? My W has controlling tendencies as well. I regained my equality by exposing the A. I maintain it by having strong and well-set boundaries.
Tell me if any of this sounds familiar:
-H is very particular about how things (life, family, vehicles, etc) look to outsiders
-H has a routine and has trouble adjusting when routine is upset or he has to change his plans on the fly
-H has to have things put away or organized in a very particular way.
-H has trouble keeping friends long-term. He may have friends, but they are not "good" or overly close.
-H has a temper and leashes out at ppl close to him when his routine or other things are disrupted...
Any of that familiar?
1) get equal footing (not going to happen as long as he is literally putting a roof over your head)
2) establish very clear boundaries and stick to them.
I would guess he's paying you CS and alimony after the D if you want to pursue that road, as there appears to be a severe earning discrepancy. I can see why he would want to have you agree to all of those terms... Makes life really easy for him later...
